Lupus was there...

You were not there when every single joint in my body was inflamed and my knees and feet were swelling up like balloons but, I was still attempting to climb the, what seemed at the moment, abnormally steep two flights of stairs to get to my classes. Those necessary classes, that I was too lethargic to sit through, in which, I received assignments that my state of “Lupus Fog” disabled me to focus on.

You were not there when I ended up being admitted to the hospital, and was only able to withdraw from one class in time, when I had a full load, and received all F’s in a row. All the while, the Doctors at the hospital picked and probed my body, yet, still could not find out what was going on with me. They ordered full body cat scans and a slew of blood tests that did not get them closer to an answer, as to, why I was so swollen, why was my body was malfunctioning and why were my kidneys failing?

You were not there when I was sent home with no resolution, when the sickness seemed to be over, and everything appeared to be getting back to normal. When I jumped back on the bandwagon and decided to take online classes because, maybe, being home would be a better option to deal with my constantly aching body and thick sausage like fingers (still inflamed). Unfortunately, in all of my optimism and persistence, I found myself, yet again, enclosed in hospital walls with the IV shooting fluids and steroids into my veins, upon blacking out in my car and pulling over to call an ambulance.  Kidney failure, Rheumatoid Arthritis and Malaria, were just a few of the Doctors possible diagnosis.

You know who was there through it all? Lupus was there, inflicting me, and hindering me… even my education.

“I am a single parent, I am on academic probation because I was hospitalized and was diagnosed with lupus,” I told the financial advisers. What can I do to get back in school? Do you know what they told me? It does not matter. It doesn't matter if you fell ill and blacked out and was admitted into the hospital. You will need to pay for 16 class of pocket before you can receive funds again. You will still be responsible for all of the classes that Lupus screwed up. You can not even receive a student loan. You can not pass go, you can not collect two hundred dollars, you can go straight to hell.

I am on disability; I can not afford to pay out of pocket for 16 classes! The only reason I did not break down in tears then was because my niece, who now attends Eastfield College, was with me.  They told me there is no way to appeal the decision, but “We are currently looking into this matter, we may have more clarity in the fall,” they said.  That was years ago…