I receive disability due to lupus. Which stands for: I do not work because I live in chronic pain and this disease is affecting my organs. It takes me all day and most of my energy to do a fraction of what others do, and appear somewhat normal while doing it. Yay me(sarcasm)! With that said, why do people look at me as if I am a housewife(a healthy, able bodied individual who made a choice not to work and and raise a family? I don't know but, I know many off you can relate:-/
So, I volunteer for a wonderful organization that I am grateful to be a part of. Being a lead volunteer(with built in responsibility), I would like to think I help make somewhat of a difference. We had a meeting today. There were several projects that needed volunteers. I felt guilty about not offering my service, but, I know I could not take on any more than I already have. So, I opened my mouth and kindly told everybody how much I would love to take on more responsibility, however, lupus barely allows me to handle what I already have. I told them how stress causes flares and that I have to be careful not to bite off more than I can chew. I told them I was open to help, but not head up, a project.
Unbelievably, no more than thirty minutes later, someone was asking me if I wanted to head up a freakin project. I was confused. Hadn't I just explained this? I was literally contemplating it and, just the thought was stressing me out. I couldn't believe I was asked. I had to put my foot down and say, no.
Unfortunately, what may seem like a simple, small chore to others, could be the beginning of a lupies demise. I have a family to live for and this is my only body, and it's defective. I must proactively protect it. I am not a lazy bum! I can not risk my life for the team. That is just how serious it is and could potentially be:-(
